I realised that I was in a conundrum. I am a trained
ecologist with experience working in the field of conservation and volunteering
or working for organisations which are trying to help the environment. But the
textile industry is one of the most polluting industries in the world. Everyday
tonnes of fabric goes into landfill- all useable, all fine, just not deemed on
rend or cheaper to dispose of this way than recycle or sell on to others. The
fact that companies would rather burn and destroy things than give it to people
who need it- blankets or clothes to homeless shelters, toys to children in poverty
disgusts me. Ever since I was training to be a weaver, I decided that I was
interested in working with materials and seeing what I could do, being
experimental but that it could never come at the cost of my environmental
values. This is actually really hard to do- particularly when you are setting
up as a studio or maker. The cost of materials which are ‘better for’ the
planet often tends to be more, sometimes significantly so.

 Therefore, you need
to have some money behind you to get going. Then the processes you use can
often take more time because you are e.g handweaving something as opposed to
weaving in large scale using a power loom which eats up electricity. Or using
natural dyes instead of synthetic ones which can take longer to do,
particularly if you want to grow your own. Then you have to factor in finishing
using products which are not unsustainable, and which won’t undercut all your
effort up to this point. After all of this you have to promote your work and
pieces and then have to spend time constantly explaining to people why it has
the price tag it does. All of this is done alongside large companies and
corporations selling pieces which may look similar to yours – possibly because
the designs have been stolen (this does happen), and at a ridiculously low
price. The number of times you have to explain to others the reasons for your
pricing is exhausting. And then this just drives the gap between those who can
afford to be principled and sustainable and those who cannot.

Weaving can be a lonely profession. You can spend a lot of
time on your own, looking at your own designs and then reaching a point where
you don’t like them.

I reached a point where I hated everything I was weaving and
genuinely couldn’t care less about the pieces I made. On top of that, nothing
was selling, and I was losing money because of the outgoing costs I had of the
setup of studio and materials and equipment.

Using ‘natural’ materials doesn’t mean that your process is
sustainable either. Take the cotton industry for example. Cotton takes a lot of
water to grow, it’s a water and space intense crop. Then if a yarn is pure
white, the cotton has been bleached and this process using toxic chemicals
which then enter the water system. If someone wants a coloured cotton, chemical
dyes will be used on large scale, taking more water, more heat and energy and
adding more chemicals into the mix. Use of toxins, use of more water. The
process also takes time and energy, often being done by large factories which
are not run on green or renewable electricity. These buildings need to be
heated and lit as well as consuming electricity for the processing machines
themselves. There are only certain places cotton will grow, so that product has
to be shipped across the world to the countries in need of it.  And yet, that spool of cotton, will still be
labelled a ‘natural’ fibre, and a type of greenwashing will occur, with people thinking
that NATURAL= ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY. The whole process needs to be considered
here, not just the original source (in this case, the plant) it came from.

When you are a maker and someone who cared about the planet,
this runs round and round in your head on a loop and has led me to become
completely disillusioned and out of love with the practice I once found fascinating.
So I have been wondering how I could change this….